Its a life time of bad memories it seems. As I sit and contemplate on my childhood. I seem to just remember being such a lost girl.
We all have fond memories, great family events but then you fill in the lines between.
I can’t quite remember what year I became so different that I was the odd girl left out. No one seeks to be ignored or unremarkable.
I had the normal girlhood dreams of dancing, singing, being just a total Daddy’s girl. Where and when this changed is a huge part of my reflections.
Life I had was a good one most would say, I had a family, a home, a pet… all the comforts of a good life. So why was I such a lost girl?
There had to be a significant day that changed my life, so one would think. I search in my mind year after year and come up empty.
No one wants to have their life be in such turmoil. Always wondering why things have been so bad.
All I know is we can never go back. We can recover one day but do we fully?
I am not sure…..
As an adult we are programmed to let the past be just that the past. I am curious does this then add to adult failure?
If we never coped or found the reason we were so lost how can we have a productive living.
I don’t want to be that lost girl! I want to let all the bullshit go but with that I want to know why me? Don’t I have that right after all I been through?
Some will say I had a choice in the way my life has gone. I say I did but I have many obstacles that have slowed me down.
Judge not this lost girl. All she wanted was love….
bipolarandlivingmedfree 